In ancient Constantinople, there was a young man who served as the court jester for the sultan. One day he made a mistake that deeply offended his master and was sentenced to death. However, soon after, the sultan called him before him and said:
— Due to the good jokes you told me for years, I will allow you to choose how you prefer to die.
— O kind sultan — replied the jester — if that is the case, I would like to die of old age…
Funeral Director
The owner of a funeral home is examining bodies, before they are buried or cremated, when he comes across a body, identified as José Chagas, who is about to be cremated and discovers that the deceased has the biggest penis he has ever seen in his life.
— Sorry, Mr. Chagas — he thinks — but I can’t send you to the crematorium with that huge thing, that has to be preserved for posterity.
So he removes the aberration with a scalpel, keeps it, and takes it home. Unable to resist, he decides to show the monstrosity to his wife.
— I have something unbelievable to show you, darling… You won’t believe it!
And upon seeing the content, the woman screams, horrified:
— Oh my God! Chagas died?
Guessing the Age
A couple meets in a bar and she, very vain, after a few drinks and conversation, asks:
— How old do you think I am?
— Well — the guy replies — by your hair, I’d say twenty, by your gaze, nineteen, by your skin, eighteen, and by your body, seventeen!
— Hmm, but you are flattering and really know how to court a woman. What are you doing now?
— I’m adding them up!
Job Hunting
Two friends go to a company in search of a job. During the interview, the first guy is asked:
— What can you do?
And the first guy replies:
— I can’t do anything.
The interviewer asks the other:
— And you, what do you do?
And he replies:
— I’m his assistant.
Darta’s Hug
Today’s big hug goes to the colleague here in the newsroom, Laudecir Wendler, to Ana Luzia Mikos, Felipe Pacheco, Guilherme Barchik, and Jorge Cury Neto, who are celebrating another year of life. Congratulations and best wishes!
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Marriage is so good, I’ve been to several!
Kill your hunger!
Selling a Mechanical Dog
