Futebol

Ferdinando and Otavinho were two inseparable friends, fanatics about soccer, who played pickup games together every weekend for a long time. One day, one of them had a serious car accident and the other went to visit him in the ICU. - Otavinho, I'm dying! I know I won't make it out of this one! And the friend, to console him: - Don't be like that! I'm sure the afterlife is much better than this one! - I don't know! What if there's no soccer there? - Yeah... then we're screwed! A week later, Ferdinando kicked the bucket, I mean, his boots. That same night, after the funeral, Otavinho was woken up in the middle of the night. - Who's there? - It's me, Ferdinando! I came back to give you two news: one good and one bad! - Tell me the good news first! - said the friend, still startled. - The good news is that there's soccer after death! - Wow, that's great! And the bad news? - The bad news is that you're on the lineup for next Sunday's game!

Straw in the Drink

A man walks into a bar and says to the owner:
- I want a glass of cachaça.
The owner serves the drink and the man takes a straw from his pocket and puts it in the glass. The owner then asks:
- Aren't you a little too old to be using a straw?
And the man responds:
- I promised my wife that I would never again put my mouth on a glass of cachaça.

Alcohol Reactions

In Chemistry class, the teacher asks:
- What are the main reactions of alcohol?
The student answers:
- Crying over an ex, thinking you're rich, getting brave, and hooking up with ugly women...
Teacher:
- A+!

Darta's Hug

Today's big hug goes out to Wanderley Paris, Camilly Neves, Andréa David, and Rafaela Oliveira, who are celebrating another year of life. Congratulations and many happy returns!