Ferdinando and Otavinho were two inseparable friends, fanatics about soccer, who played pickup games together every weekend for a long time. One day, one of them had a serious car accident and the other went to visit him in the ICU. – Otavinho, I’m dying! I know I won’t make it out of this one! And the friend, to console him: – Don’t be like that! I’m sure the afterlife is much better than this one! – I don’t know! What if there’s no soccer there? – Yeah… then we’re screwed! A week later, Ferdinando kicked the bucket, I mean, his boots. That same night, after the funeral, Otavinho was woken up in the middle of the night. – Who’s there? – It’s me, Ferdinando! I came back to give you two news: one good and one bad! – Tell me the good news first! – said the friend, still startled. – The good news is that there’s soccer after death! – Wow, that’s great! And the bad news? – The bad news is that you’re on the lineup for next Sunday’s game!
Straw in the Drink
A man walks into a bar and says to the owner:
– I want a glass of cachaça.
The owner serves the drink and the man takes a straw from his pocket and puts it in the glass. The owner then asks:
– Aren’t you a little too old to be using a straw?
And the man responds:
– I promised my wife that I would never again put my mouth on a glass of cachaça.
Alcohol Reactions
In Chemistry class, the teacher asks:
– What are the main reactions of alcohol?
The student answers:
– Crying over an ex, thinking you’re rich, getting brave, and hooking up with ugly women…
Teacher:
– A+!
Darta’s Hug
Today’s big hug goes out to Wanderley Paris, Camilly Neves, Andréa David, and Rafaela Oliveira, who are celebrating another year of life. Congratulations and many happy returns!
